The Tricks Of The Trade

Deceits And Deceptions Used By Judges, Lawyers And Prosecutors

LAWYER'S TRICKS

Self-service Ordering

The judge orders one thing and presto!  When the order is written up by the lawyer, it says another thing.

Head Note Heaven

The practice of citing case law by head notes.  Many times cases don't say what the head notes appear to say.  I have seen the highest priced lawyers submit case law that was more in the other's side favor than theirs!  Do what many lawyers don't do.  Read the cases, not just the head notes.

Bait and Switch

This is the practice of quoting case law that says one thing and then saying the opposite.  "This case, that case and that other case say the sky is blue."  "Now that we have established the sky is not necessarily blue,  I assert to this court that given the latest findings of physics, the sky is maroon."

Price of Tomatoes In Denmark

The practice of arguing anything but the point that should be argued.

The Show Is Canceled

This trick is usually played at the courthouse.  The opposing side will walk past you and say something like, "It isn't on the calendar."  You buy it and leave....and they say you didn't show!

Drama Queen

The this is outrageous, I have never, honestly in all my years of practice nonsense.  Every aspect of the litigation brings total outrage, shock and disbelief.

The Ball Of Confusion

You are rear ended and the other side argues like this: "What accident, which car, there were hundreds of accidents that day.  Was this car pushed by the other car, are the witnesses reliable? He says there are witnesses, I haven't seen these witnesses. Sure, there are supposed to be 20 witnesses but I talked to one that didn't know which way was up and was going back to Slovenia.  I heard allegations he went into reverse due to driver dyslexia.  The stock market dropped that afternoon, he was upset.  Where are we going to get experts to verify this?  Who, what, where, when?  I'm so confused I can't make sense of this case and as your honor knows, I have seen many.  There are too many questions here your Honor, this case should be dismissed."

The Art Of Lying

This can take many forms.  The lie may be a half truth, distortion, redefinition or a total fabrication.

Clerk Jerk

Manipulate the hearing by telling the clerk you have to leave right away.

Early Bird

See if you can start the hearing in a certain direction before opposing side reaches the bar.

Mail Fraud

"You couldn't have mailed it, I never received it!"

JUDGE'S TRICKS

See the Secret Canons and the Black is White Law Dictionary.

PROSECUTOR'S TRICKS

Plea And See

Coerce someone to plea bargain and later use the plea bargain to make that person look like a hardened criminal.

Testilying

Coerce or order a witness or informant to say whatever helps the prosecutor win the case.

Hide And Ride

Hiding or altering initial statements from witnesses.

Believe And Deceive

Base the case on what prosecutor believes, regardless of the facts.

Cut And Paste

Altering audio or video recordings to say what will make the prosecutor's case.

Poof Power

Move or in some way manipulate witnesses to make it look like they left, won't testify or are unwilling or unavailable to testify.

Shady Brady

Hiding, disguising or making it hard to discover "brady material" [exculpatory evidence which is evidence favorable to the other side].

Harass Your Ass

Harassing, threatening or intimidating witnesses to manipulate them.

White Lies

Deliberately deceiving the Court for the "greater good."

White Fight

Manufacture arguments for the "greater good."

Deal And Seal

Hide deals prosecutor's make with witnesses.

No Deal Happy Meal

The prosecutor will call a deal anything but a deal to avoid disclosure.  The prosecutor will say the deal was an unrelated inducement, incentive, or favor.  The prosecutor will say the inducement, incentive or favor was earned, going to be granted anyway or already in progress. The prosecutor will say they had nothing to do with the inducement, incentive or favor or the favor came from others.

Mixed No Deal Happy Meal

The prosecutor will weave inducements, incentives or favors into other cases to cloud, confuse or alter the issue of which case the favors are for.

Shop Mop

One witness doesn't say what the prosecution wants?  Try and try again until the prosecution finds or can coerce a witness to say what fits the prosecutor's case and forget the other witnesses.

The Buddy System

Use an incarcerated person's cell mates to get a statement out of someone the prosecutor wants.  If that fails, get a cell mate [using promises or incentives] to fabricate a statement which fits the prosecutor's case.